omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
home. puking in laundry basket.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
