Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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