After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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