I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize