i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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