i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it's like iHOP with fire
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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