You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
