sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
