dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
