yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
