how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
