If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
