carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
