then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
