I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
