benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You need a sexual gate keeper
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
