I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
