So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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