can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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