i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize