She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize