I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
