chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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