Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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