you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
