He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
