tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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