Who did Billy Mays play for?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
