i think my tv is drunk
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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