i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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