Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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