someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
