i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
