It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
