despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize