He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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