Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize