I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
