Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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