i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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