Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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