We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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