Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
