Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
