It's just like the Real World with babies
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
