ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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