ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We are two peas in an std pod
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
