If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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