Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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