He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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