It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
