ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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