I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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