I bet he comes in French.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
