you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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