why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize