I'll bet she douches with gravy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
