Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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