Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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