The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
where are you?
Hypothermia
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
