So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
