Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
