TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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