a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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