Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
