i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize