he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
